Halloween: where costume and awesome collide

Halloween has never really been a holiday that trips my trigger. Obviously when I was younger it was a little bit higher on the 'awesome holiday' list- but nowadays I'm pretty fond of my Memorial, Labor, and Martin Luther King Days. Paid holiday- yes please!

I have however over the years had some pretty memorable Halloween Costumes. When Mindilicious wasn't busy saving the world, she could sew a mean costume. I think more than anything, good ol' H to the Ween was more exciting for her. I was like her little dress-up play thing that could be subdued by way of Milky Way or Gobble Stick (bee-tee-dubs, does anyone remember Gobble Sticks? They were delicious. Packaged like something similar to a string cheese. I'm telling you- that was like meat stick cocaine for this girl) while she was measuring and sewing away.

One year I was Pippi Longstocking. I had long hair. We took a cloth headband with a clothes hanger run through it, and braided my hair onto the wire. It was epic. I remember another girl went as the same thing that year. She had these weird braids on the top of her head that just stood straight up into the air. Essentially she had braided horns. True colors perhaps? I think so! I also colored my hair red with this crayon like substance. It smelled like fish. I was self-conscious of it the whole day- trying to blame the smell on someone else.

I was a Spanish Senioretta when I was in 2nd grade. I remember wearing bright, streetwalker-esque red lipstick, black fishnet tights, and HUGE hoop earrings the most. I also remember going to a church. It wasn't my church. And it wasn't any of my friends churches. It was just a randome church. I was with my Nanny. We stopped for a costume contest that was offering a cash prize. We walked in. I stood on a stage. I waved my paper fan for full effect. I Won. And then we walked out. I don't remember ever seeing that money in my pocket or towards my college fund from that one.

And one year I was a princess. Mindilicous whipped up this purple robe/cape thing; complete with spotted white fur and gold trim. I had a crown. And a wand? (Because princess' have wands right?) and I think some sort of poofy dress that completed the costume. One night as Mama H was working away, I decided it was necessary to parade around the house in my cape. When I had done enough royal sauntering around the living room, I decided that as a princess I needed to take a drive. And being that it was October, I was 6, and my pink barbie convertible PowerWheel was fresh out of juice, I had to improvise.

I went straight to business:

:: Drawing of a steering wheel taped to the wall. Check.

:: Barbie riding shotgun. Check.

:: Stuffed animals in the back seats to act as my people (I was their princess after all, and princesses always have lots of friends- just look at Kate.) Check.

:: Mom's keys that I found in her purse. Check

:: Four holes in the wall placed just to the right of my make-shift steering wheel to put Mom's keys in. Double Check.

Royal party on the movie- time to get the party started in the land of Harkins!

...... Or blow out the power in the house as it turned out.

I literally shocked the hell out of myself.

Burnt a mark into my Mom's car key.

And blew out the power.

Smooth move, Princess!

From then on, when the Princess needed transportation, she stuck to the good ol' horse and carriage. A much royaler and classy mode of transportation, I might add. And Mindilicious started putting her keys up higher after that. Apparently this Princess is never to be trusted!

This year I was a di (still looking for my 'ce' apparently). I couldn't bend and the waist, couldn't be rolled or fit through a crowded room without turning sideways, or even sit down- but I sure felt lucky! The odds were totally in my favor! (There are 5 dots on my front side. The one dot was on my rear- which Roland liked to refer to as my butt-hole throughout the night. Awkward.)

So to all you October 31 fans I say this: I hope your hair doesn't smell, you see the result of the costume contest you win, that you keep your keys out of light sockets, and that you think about the placement of your dots.

Happy Ween o' Hallows!